Props to my good friend Ant for supplying me with the four nouns: Clown. Pelvis. Splinter. Ditch
The conversation had reached a standstill, again, and Mick drove along the country lane in silence. His wife, Alice, sat in the passenger seat and gazed out of the window. Pretty pointless, as it was pitch black and there weren’t any street lights out there. The radio had finally packed up, which had been a long time coming. He’d meant to get it replaced but it one of those things on his ‘to do’ list that he’d just never gotten around ‘to doing‘.
“Umm.. Clear night…” desperate attempt at chit-chat. She looked fleetingly forward.
“Mm”
Wow, didn’t even attempt to continue that, mind you, it was pretty lame. He turned the radio on again. Still nothing but static.
“Bloody thing, Just wish I had a tape or something…”
“Wasn’t there one in the back of the seat? In the pocket thing?”
“Yeah, but I think it’s Meatloaf”
“Better than sitting here in silence”. Jeez, turn the knife, will ya?
“Look, I’m sorry about the party. I just happen to believe in speaking my mind”
“Yeah, that’s noble, but not when you call the host’s wife’s dress something that resembles an art-deco marquee” That raised a smile for them both.
“Where did you say that tape was?”
“Um… in the back of your seat, I think, here, let me have a look” She stretched back and through the gap in the seats to try to reach the pocket, as she did so, Mike glanced at his wife’s chest. The stretching had caused her blouse to gape and he caught a sneaky look at her bra-clad breasts. He smiled to himself, but the moment vanished as he realised he was resorting to catching pervy glimpses of his own wife. She sat back down.
“Nope, can’t feel it in there, might be in this seat… you ok?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, here, lemme have a look” He stretched over, his hand on the wheel wobbling as he tried to keep the car in a straight line.
“Why don’t you pull over?” She watched the road intently, her hand hovering near the wheel, ready to take over should the car swerve.
“No, it’s ok, I’ve nearly got the tape… Oh Shit!!!” He’d returned his gaze to the road, just in time to see the deer in the road ahead. He slammed on the brakes, the tyres screeching and smoking, but he was still hurtling towards the startled animal. He yanked the wheel to the left, missing the deer by inches, but the car was heading off the road, and ended up at an angle in the ditch that ran alongside it.
“Oh shit, shit. Are you ok honey?” Alice turned to him, her face a mixture of shock and anger.
“Yes, I think I’m fine, no thanks to you. I told you to pull over, didn’t I?”
“Yes, yes, but that doesn’t help us now, does it?” He fumbled in his pockets for his mobile phone. “Crap. No signal. What about yours?”
“We’re on the same network” Said Alice grudgingly. “I told you we should be on different ones, just in case” Mike threw his hands up in the air.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, it’s always a bloody argument with you, isn’t it? Look, there’s some lights over there through those trees, I’ll walk over and see if there’s a phone I can borrow. Anything wrong with that?” Alice sat squarely in her seat and started jabbing at her phone.
“What are you doing? There’s no signal.”
“I’m going to play my sudoku game, actually, to pass the time while you go off hiking.”
He slammed the door and marched off into the woods by the road. After 20 feet he realised it might not have been such a good idea, the ground was very uneven and seemed to be mainly marshland, the bottoms of his trouser legs were sodden as he stumbled on towards the distant lights. Eventually, he came to a clearing, but there wasn’t a house, it was a circus tent, grey and derelict. No vehicles in sight, but a string of light-bulbs around the edge of the canvas roof were still lit.
“Hello?” he walked towards the tent, which was surrounded by a barbed-wire fence, about waist height. He took off his jacket and draped it over the fence. Using one of the wooden posts as leverage, he vaulted over the top of the fence, but winced in pain as a huge splinter imbedded itself into his hand. “Ah shit. Ow.” He tried to remove the splinter, but it was in the pad near his thumb quite deep, and there wasn’t a lot proud of the surface. It stung like mad, and he shook his hand as he continued walking towards the tent.
“Hello?” Still no answer. He walked around the full circumference of the tent, searching for a way in, his soaked trousers clinging to his skin, freezing in the cold night air. Suddenly, he stopped. He’d just realised how quiet it was. There were no other houses or buildings around, which meant no power, so the lights would have to be powered by a generator, but he couldn’t hear one running. At last, he could see an opening in the canvas curtain. Peering in, it was almost pitch-black. He could make out the rows and rows of seats, and the sawdust covered ring they surrounded. His hand gave a sharp throb, the splinter reminding him of it’s presence. He reached the centre of the ring, on a large, darker patch of sawdust.
“Hello? Is there anyone there? I’ve come off the road and I need to borrow a phone..”
Without warning, the centre of the ring was flooded in a bright light, and jaunty calliope music blared from all around him. He could hear laughter, and screams of delight. He shielded his eyes from the light and once he’d regained his focus, he could see faces, hundreds of faces in the seats around the ring. Women, children, fathers. Balloons, flags. All were laughing heartily in his direction, the children pointing at him.
A honking noise came from his left, he spun around and a clown car wobbled towards him on comically warped wheels, which came away from the car as it stopped. The door fell off and a tall, angular man in a clown’s outfit unfolded himself from the car, to increased laughter. Mike looked at him in confused horror
“How? Who..?” But the clown smiled at him.
“Got me a volunteer already” he confided to him in an aside. “Don’t worry old chap, you’re perfectly safe with me, just follow my lead”
“Look, I’m sorry, I don’t know…” But the clown failed to hear his protests as he proceeded to unfurl a long string of knotted hankies from Mike’s trousers, over-emphasising his facial expressions, Mike had to admit, it was actually rather amusing. Maybe it was all a big gag, turning the lights on like that. His face must have been a picture!
Alice’s phone bleeped with such suddenness she physically jumped in her seat. It was a text from Jackie, the marquee-wearing woman who’s party she’d just left. Alice closed down her sudoku game (only 5 numbers left) and read the text. Jackie’s message was short and abrupt, but she cared enough to make sure her friend had got home safe. Alice sent her a swift text back, with a short apology regarding her husband’s comments, and called the AA. They said they’d be there within the hour, given the time and the remoteness of their location. Alice ended the call and peered out of the window. It was still pitch black, but the lights in the distance were still there, and seemed brighter. She got out of the car and called for Mike. There was no answer, but she could now hear faint music coming from the area of the lights. She retrieved her spare car keys from her handbag, locked the car and slowly started making her way towards the clearing.
Mike and his clown companion seemed to be going down a storm. They’d done the bucket-full-of-paper gag, twice, the third bucket, which, of course, actually contained water, ended up over the ringmaster, to howling laughter from the audience. Mike had done a mime artist bit, which went down ok, and the clown had done some juggling and knife-throwing. The music suddenly quietened and the Clown comically walked over to him.
“Right, up we go then” he whispered and walked off to a ladder by one of the main supports. Blankly, Mike followed him, cautious applause coming from the crowd. At the top of the ladder, the clown fastened a safety line to Mike’s belt. “Trust me” he smiled through his garish greasepaint. Opening a small comedy umbrella, the clown proceeded out onto a high-wire suspended between the two support. He was certainly milking it, wobbling in all the right places, accompanied by increased drum-rolls from the band below. All very entertaining but he obviously had some skills. He eventually reached the other side with a flourish of his arms and a crescendo from the band. He waved at Mike to cross the wire, the audience cheering him on. “Oh well, here goes nothing”.
Alice was now severely pissed off. She was soaked, her new shoes were ruined, and to cap it all, there seemed to be a circus, in full swing, going on ahead of her. She hated circuses, ever since childhood. Something about the clowns just freaked her out.
“If he’s in there watching this shit, I’m going to…” but as she reached the fence, she stopped. The Music had stopped. The light from inside had gone, just the lights around the edge were still lit. She looked at Mike’s coat, draped over the fence. There was no way she was climbing over that in this skirt. She set off to her right, to see if there was a gap in the fence. Eventually she came across a huge sign, but couldn’t make it out. She got out her phone, and shone the light from the screen at the sign. In big, brash letters it advertised the Scolleri
Circus, with pictures of tigers, horses, clowns, all the usual. She noted that the dates were all in January, but looking at the tent in the dim moonlight, it looked like it had been sitting there for way over 5 months. Looking back at the sign, there was a huge banner across the poster, claiming the shows had been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. She carried on along the fence, and came to a gap in the wires, the fencing just looked like it had rusted away.
Straining her eyes and ears, she could still make out some faint music, but it sounded like it was being sung, rather than played, and she rushed towards the entrance in the side of the tent.
Mike was halfway across the wire, this was easy! He steadied his feet and did a few comedy wobbles, over-swinging his arms to regain his balance. The clown on the platform opposite laughed heartily at his actions and applauded him. He was feeling great, maybe he should quit his job and run away with the circus. Run away from Alice. He looked down and saw her standing just inside the entrance. She was looking straight at him with sheer terror on her face.
“Mike! What the fuck are you doing??” What WAS he doing? Walking across a wire at the top of a pitch-black circus, singing that bloody song at the top of his voice. “Mike! Why are you up there? You’re gonna fall!”
The Music was getting louder, the audience cheering his every step, his confidence was building. The clown still applauded his act, but had started beckoning him to the safety of the platform. Mike’s bravado was peaking. He was gonna try something, he’d seen it on the TV, but he was sure he could pull it off. As long as he kept his balance, he reckoned he could do that back-somersault.
Alice was frantic. “Mike, I’ve called the AA! I got a signal on my phone, they’re on their way, can you come down please? Please??”
“Hey, the audience are loving this, I’m gonna do one last trick!” He yelled down to her.
“WHAT AUDIENCE??”
The lights faded, the crowd disappeared, but the clown stayed, applauding him with silent clapping. He looked at his feet. He was standing on a wire. Holy shit. He was standing on a wire in slick-soled shoes.
“Mike! Come down!” Alice was clutching her hands to her chest, tears streaming down her face.
“Alice! How did I get up here? Wait.. Wha…?” His feet slipped from the wire, Alice screamed, but Mike caught the wire with his hands, the frayed metal piercing his palms, but he gritted his teeth and held his grip. Looking down, he was sure if he dropped, he’d probably break something, possibly shatter his pelvis. Looking at the platform to his left, he could still see the clown, still clapping silently, but he was looking at where Mike had been when he was standing on the wire. His actions were repetitive, not natural, but then, what was natural about this place? Gritting his teeth in determination, he shuffled his hands along the wire, slowly moving towards the opposite platform, Alice below shouting up encouragement. With about a foot to go, the splinter in his hand gave an almighty throb, causing him to let go with that hand, at the same time, the lights returned, as did the music and the audience, all cheering and clapping. Alice looked around at them in horror.
“Where did these… What’s going on Mike?”
“I’m a bit busy Honey, gimme a sec, will ya” With a last surge of effort, he reached up with the splinter-infected hand and grabbed the platform. He hauled himself up and held onto the pole, panting in exhaustion. He looked back at the other platform. The clown was looking directly at him, smiling. He gave him a few claps, removed his hat and bowed. Mike could see there was a rather flat surface where the back of his head should have been. He stood up, replaced his hat, and vanished, along with the audience, lights and music.
Mike reached the bottom of the ladder with some difficulty, as the palms of his hands were pretty sliced up from the wire. He looked st the splinter, which was now standing proud of the surface. He bit the end with his teeth and yanked it out of his hand. It didn’t hurt at all, which surprised him, as it was a big one. Alice rushed towards him and held him in a tight embrace. Holding him for support, she led him out of the tent, and out towards the fence. The sun was coming up now, and the area was quite well lit. the lights around the edge of the tent were not just out, but gone.
“What happened here, Mike?” Alice’s face was ashen. Mike shook his head, he couldn’t even begin to explain what he’d seen, but as he looked up, he could see the fence surrounding the circus tent was threaded with blue-and-white police tape. It was the kind with ‘crime-scene - do not cross’ written on it, but it looked eroded and aged.
In the emerging daylight, they could see a clear path through the trees leading to the road, coming out not 100 yards in front of their car, where they could also see the amber flashing lights of the AA van as it arrived.
In silence, they held each other as they walked through the gap in the fence, past the large sign advertising the dates of the circus shows. A gust of wind blew the edge of the cancellation notice aside;
Showdates: 17th January - 25th January. 1986.
Copyright Peter Morris-Kelso. All characters and events are fictitious, no connection to any person, living or dead is implied nor should it be inferred.
