Pissing in the wind - Theologically speaking

Time is precious, especially when you've got so little of it in the day to get all of your work done.

Today, I'm going about my business, delivering nondescript building materials to an address that's a bugger to get to (again). As I'm waiting at the door I've just knocked on, 3 guys wearing black bomber jackets pass me.

The Following is an ABSOLUTE FACTUAL TRANSCRIPT of events that happened to me today.

"Hello there"

Um.. ok, polite enough..

"Hello" (I knock at the door again)

"Keeping busy?" They're standing there, side by side, with rather unsettling smiles on their faces. I'm a polite person, very non-antagonistic..

"Yeah, it's picking up. Always quiet this time of year" (Jeez, open the fucking door)

"Do you get much free time in your line of work?"

"Oh, I only work 7 till 5, I spend the rest of my time with my family, really"

"Oh. that's very nice. Tell me, would you consider devoting some of that free time... to Jesus...?"

Oh. Jesus tap-dancing-fucking Christ. here he go (inhales)

"Sorry, I don't believe in God. You're wasting your time"

Three smily faces become three faces of concerned disappointment so quickly I don't even see the transition

"Oh, so you've rejected god" (heads tilt to the side sycopantically, I try not to laugh)

"No, I don't believe in god" Perplexed expressions

"That's what I said"

"No. In order to reject a non-specific deity (Thanks Bill Bailey) I have to have had some initial belief in them. I've never believed in a god, therefore, I haven't rejected anything."

"Oh, so you're an Atheist" (the expressions are almost like those you'd see over a death-bed)

"Nope"

"But if you don't believe in Our Lord, you must be an Atheist"

"Says who?"

This completely threw them. Timothy (who was leading the conversation) quickly spoke with Sebastian (watery eyes, bad skin) before turning to me. I think they have courses teaching them how to deal with difficult specimens.

"The bible teaches us.."

"Excuse me, The bible might teach you, but I've never read it, therefore it can never teach me anything, let alone tell me how to lead my life, let alone tell me how to treat others with differing ideas on how to lead their lives."

"But, if you do not accept Jesus and his teachings then you'll never be.."

"Never be what? A good person?"

"Well, yes, you'll never.."

"HOW DARE YOU!!!" (I actually shouted, the mirth held tightly within, an academy award beckons before age 40, I'm sure) "How dare you pass judgement on me without knowing me. I work hard for my meagre wage, i provide for my wife and child, who I love with all my heart and soul, and would readily lay my life on the line to spare theirs. How dare you say that I'm not a complete person unless I pledge devotion to a fictional character in a book."

15 seconds of silence followed. They turned their backs on me to discuss something, when a neighbour of the house opened their door

"Is no-one answering? I think they're out the back, I'll get them for you"

"Thank you. Soon as you can would be lovely"

The 3 of strong faith turned to me.

"We understand you have a strong belief in your own following.."

"Nicely put"

"..but would you take this leaflet, and might I ask you to spare some of your time.."

"A leaflet? A Fucking leaflet? You're trying to preach the word of the Lord Almighty to the massed heathens and the last vestige of truth you cling to is a piggin' leaflet? Why can't you accept that you can't change the way people think?"

"We're not trying to change..."

"What have you been doing in this street today?"

"Well, we've been canvassing the neighbourhood, asking the residents if they'd like to join our church"

"Fair enough. And if they were atheists, or agnostics, of if they belonged to a different church..?"

"Then.. we would have told them of the ways of Mormon, and advised them to join our church"

"So you're telling them to change the way they think? If they have one belief, you consider that to be wrong, and advise them to come around to your way of thinking. Does your faith teach tolerance?"

"Of course, but when the lamb has strayed..."

"Oh, get fucked, will ya? You claim to preach tolerance, yet when someone dares to think in a slightly different way from your bigoted views, they have no choice but to be saved by your noble belief. Stop talking to me. you're insulting my intelligence with every breath"

At this point the customer actually opened his door and gave me an excuse to leave these imbeciles.

I have no problem with religion of any kind, up until the point where it tells me how I have to live my life. I am a husband and father. I work bloody hard for a living, and I struggle at times to get by. I am a realist, not an atheist. The word atheist is bandied around a lot as someone who doesn't believe in God. I have no belief, to be an atheist is to belive there is no god, which in turn, is a belief.

I'm also tolerant. Years of bullying and being demeaned by my peers have teached me humilty, that no man is above another, no matter their status in socity their wealth or breeding, of their faith.

I Think, therefore I am. God's got nothing to do with it.

Mugglenet got hacked

I'm a moderately passionate Harry potter fan, not quite passionate enough to visit a supermarket at midnight to get my copy, but enough to know that Harry named his daughter Lily luna.

Therefore, it was with a sense of anger that I'd learned that mugglenetgot hacked quite severely this week.

Now, I'm in 2 minds about this. One, that I'm fucking angry that a well-meaning, non-malicious site such as mugglenet would be the subject of such an attack.

And Two. You're a hacker. You've assembled a team of the best hackers in your sad little no-other-friends-on-the-planet circle, you've managed to steal some of the best hacking tools from limewire and mininova, you're all braced for the most 1337 hack on the feckin planet and you hack Mugglenet??? That's it? It was down for 36 hours and NO-ONE NOTICED.

Emerson, if you read this, which I doubt, but if, well done for getting back up and showing these genetically deficient fuckwits exactly how much of a dent they made in out lives, and to the hackers themselves, got one word for ya...