I don't know why i constantly do it to myself, but when the working day is a bit quiet, i'll invariably reach for a colleague's copy of the Sun. Why I constantly put myself through this dirge of editorial-as-news is beyond me.
For example, to drag out a tired theme, the news last week reported that ChavQueen Goody had awoken in hospital to discover a 'Crazed hammer weirdo leaning over her, chanting and muttering'. Jade then yelled for help, and the woman ran off. She was later arrested and found to be carrying a bag that contained a hammer. She was also discovered to be french. This, it would seem is enough for the sun to classify this strange woman as a raving lunatic who should be locked up forever to save us all from her lunacy...
No, read on.
One thing to take on board is that Jade Goody is desperately unintelligent. Criminally so. And the 'muttering and chanting' that she heard was more than likely just spoken french, which Jade understands less than proper English.
“She had not attempted to use the weapon.”
A Met Police source said the woman was armed with a hammer.
Hold on. How can she be armed if she had not attempted to use the hammer? Surely this whole story would have more credence, and basis in reality, if the woman had been standing over the prone patient, hammer in hand, screaming for blood. Nope, what we've got here is a mildly alarming incident, that was nothing whatsoever, merely another reason to put JG in the pages and sell more copies.
On another subject, the Sun, again, this week reported that there was a recent screening of the new Harry potter movie and that the reviews were less than favourable. Probably would have had more effect if the news wasn't 4 months old and contained nothing not already known by anyone that cares.
The problem is, staunch Sun readers lap this bullshit up like it's gospel. There's a phrase, 'According to the Sun...'. There are 2 ways to read that statement. One is to take everything as fact, the other is to treat everything printed as news as utter bullshit intil you hear it from the horses mouth, so the speak.
If you believe the former, then i'm sorry, but you're as beyond help as scientologists, Jehovah's witnesses and mormons. If, like me, you believe the latter statement then sadly you're in the minority. They're all around us, and they really believe the Page 3 girls write their own articles.
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