Oh, if only to be as verbose and well-read as my peers...
Courtesy of Mike, in amongst his other brain-spillages, was a list of questions. You know the type, they look entertaining, but without knowing it, you're opening up your psyche to anyone that wants a dig around. With some people that's ok, but with others...
1) What would you do if you could be a member of the opposite sex for one day?
Ever seen Porky's? Police Academy 1? I'm a simple man
2) What animal do you most identify with?
Koala. 23 hours asleep, one hour stoned
3) If you could wipe out one group of people off the face of the earth, no repercussions, who would the group be and why?
Pikeys, gyppos, white trash scum. Anyone who delights in the misery of others. And Jordan
4) OK, you get to have any magical power you want. What do you pick?
Invisibility. See Q1. plus It'd be pretty easy to get your hands on free cash
5) Would you pick the boat, or the mystery box? (a boat is just a boat, but the mystery box..that could be anything. It could even be a boat!)
The boat. I deal in certainties
6) How do you want do die?
Wearing a bandana, a P-90 in both hands, a cigar in my mouth, taking out the last of Al-Quaeda wearing a dirty vest and screaming my bollocks off. But it'll probably be in a hospital bed surrounded by my family, sitting in a puddle of my own fluids
7) How do you want to live?
As comfortably as possible, thanks.
8) Is there any character trait, action, or belief in another person that would make you lose all interest in them immediately?
If they talked about God too much.
9) If you had the power to legalize one illegal thing, what would it be?
Probably a stock answer, but Mary-Jane. Half the reason it isn't legalised is because the Govt can't regulate and tax it.
\soap-box off
10) Do you eat any foods in an odd way?
I used to lick the flavouring off Cheese & onion crisps first, then be heartedly disappointed that the un-flavoured crisp was moist and bland in taste... Oh, and I also used to dissect Twix fingers until there was only the biscuit left, then dunk it in my tea...
11) Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Many, one resulting in personal injury, which I still bear the scars of..
12) Have you ever thought about something and had it come true?
Every bloody day, and it's beginning to freak me out a bit, actually
13) What was the worst experience you've ever had in a relationship?
Not realising what was going on behind my back, then looking back years later and realising it was all my own bloody fault
14) Ever switch your religion?
I have been baptised, but against my will (I was too young to tell the priest to piss off). I'm now agnostic with Atheist tendancies
15) What comes first: your lover or your family?
You've seen Luke. No contest
16) What do you want done with your body once you die?
Encased in Bronze witha plaquard saying "Avenge me" I might not actually need avenging, but I'd like to give those that survive me something to do.
17) Are you attracted to a particular sign of the zodiac?
Leo (Annie) and Taurus (Luke) I have a soft spot for Cancer too
18) Were you ever really good at something you really didn't like doing?
That's not of your goddamn business and I'd like you to stay out of my personal affairs. Oh, and the night shift at the hotel. I rocked, but the job sucked.
19) Is there a word or phrase you used to use that you would feel really embarrassed using now? (Ex. Phat; as if, etc.)
We used to say 'well' instead of 'very'. As in 'That bird was well fit'. Actually pretty much 50% of my vocabulary 1986-1992
20) You have 5 hours left to live. What do you do?
Have lots and lots of sex.
21) If you had to, would you eat another human to survive?
Depends on the human.
22) You're walking down the street with your best friend, when all of a sudden two people come out of nowhere. One grabs your friend and starts beating them up, bad. The other tells you you'd better not help, because their friend has a knife, and they will use it. But you don't see a knife. They don't even have their hands in their pockets. What do you do?
Pull out my own knife (You've seen them) and wade in a'slashing. I keed
23) Do you have a victory dance?
If you count pointing and laughing
24) Have you started using any phrases that you heard someone use on TV, in the movies, or in a book?
I try not to in recent times, but I can date my quoting back to Filthy, Rich and Catflap
25) Did you ever have to wear a uniform for anything in your life?
Every job I've had, apart from the first one. Which was a shit job
26) Is there a situation that you still look back on, going over it in your head again and again, thinking of ways you could have handled it better?If so, what? Or if there are a lot, pick one.
Grammar School. Maybe I should have paid attention
27) What's your favorite object that serves no real purpose?
That's none... ok, maybe my sword/knife collection. I'll never use tham unless in extreme circumstances, and run to a total value of about £600+
28) Pro-life or pro-choice? Why?
Choice, I'm a great believer in the induvidual being resposible for their own actions
29) For or against the death penalty? Why?
Yes, because there's some fuckbags out there that deserve it, but no, because of the mistakes made in the past
30) For or against gay marriage? Why?
For. See Q.28
31) Your first born child just told you they're gay. How do you feel?
Incredibly proud that they feel they know and trust me enough to tell me straight out
32) Is there anyone in your life worth going to jail for?
Yup.
33) Have you ever said something really clever to one of those annoying telemarketers? If so, what?
"I'm registered with TPS, you're breaking the law by calling me, can I have your name.. hello?"
34) What's your favorite weapon?
I'd have to say the Valdris, but for sheer use-ability, the samaurai sword that's currently under the bed comes a close second
Skipping 35 as I don't think it should be brought up in a warm and friendly Q&A
36) Which celebrity can't you stand that everyone seems to love?
Jade
37) Is there any food that is almost guaranteed to make you sick?
Parsnips, oddly enough
38) Do you screen your calls when you don't recognize the number, or does your curiosity get the better of you?
If it's my mobile I won't answer another mobile number If don't recognise it. I answer every call at home as we're TPS'd up
39) How's your self-esteem?
Whenever I'm feeling a little down, I just look at my son and remind myself that I helped create him. After that, I'm God
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